A Nigerian who has lived a great number of his years in Nigeria is unconsciously influenced with the Nigerian mentality- the perception of Nigerians on certain things. Rape is not far from it.To the typical Nigerian, rape is the forced assault and molestation of females. It is not without facts because females are the majority victims and the ones who bear the brunt most. The raped female is forced to accept it as her fault and made to be ashamed of voicing it out, because she fears ridicule and criticism.
Male rape on the other hand is a far cry from this. It looks like the unusual, the weird, the extra-ordinary, the odd and the most bizarre. Reasons are thus;
- MALES ARE MOSTLY AT THE GIVING END OF IT: Males are usually the ones that commit rape the most. Traditionally, they are seen as the male animals on heat who would go to any length to satisfy their sexual urge; from drugging to physical measures like overpowering and body injuries. Society is filled with masculine inclination which places the woman as a second class citizen, who is meant to be seen and not heard; to give into the urges of her male counterpart sexually because she is in the position to give sex, whether willingly or unwillingly. The man uses this to his own advantage because he has the back of the majority in it and goes on to take his ‘tea without sugar.’ In fact, at any point he feels the sexual urge and deserves satisfaction from the presence of a woman he goes on to do it. It buttresses the fact that males give rape and rarely receive it.
- MALE VIRGINITY LOOKS ABNORMAL: Like really and like seriously, if a man were to tell me that he is a virgin, I would just laugh over it and take it as a rehearsed pick up line. By Jove! That virgin stuff doesn’t work for men. No way! It doesn’t make the girl have the anticipation of being the first person to get the ride. Phew! It just turns her off and makes her see the guy as some rookie that needs loads of orientation. It is really common to hear a girl talk about her first sex experience; how painful it was; how awkward she looked afterwards. It is just more usual when parents and guardian drum it into the ear of the girl to keep her virginity till marriage and abstain from sex. It is a different turn for the male as he is too ashamed to say it and he puts up a bluff of being a sex professional, he doesn’t want to be taunted by peers or anyone who hears it. In Nigeria a man who fronts that he is a virgin is viewed as having some psychological issues, sexual problems and it results into being called ‘Impotent’. Ridiculing statements like o! boy u no be man na, how u go say u never f*** woman’’, ‘’comot here u no get manhood.’’ So it gets back to the notion that no man has ever lost is virginity through rape.
- MASCULINE INCLINATION: Nigeria is a masculine dominated society. The society where the males have it all, a place where the males are the choice leaders and women the unanimous subordinates. Over here, the man is always the head and must not in any way be under the supervision of a woman. It begins from families, homes, schools, offices, institutions, and gets down to the public domain. The opium drains the society of every reason but the reason to place the man as a demigod. Here men are viewed as superiors and not inferiors. It extends to the rape scene, the man dominates it in words and action, and shouldn’t be seen as the oppressed party. The dice is ultimately rolled against them because male rape is almost unthinkable, after all society is masculine inclined.
- MALE RAPE VICTIMS ARE JUST ABOUT A HANDFUL: Because males are usually seen as the perpetrators of rape, it influences the knowledge that males are never rape victims. It is a fallacy because males too are often raped. They could be raped by males who are sexually attracted to males like them or overly domineering females who feel they can do it without consequences. In realistic terms, comparing the number of male rape victims to the number of female rape victims is more like comparing a puddle to an ocean. The comparison ranges from the perpetrators to the victim.
- NIGERIAN SOCIETY LAYS GREATER EMPHASIS ON FEMALE RAPE: The Nigerian society places a greater balance on one side of the rape scale. The females are viewed as the vulnerable party and the ones to be protected. They are the ones who are constantly fought for by activists, feminists and the general public at large. It is because the larger number of victims are females and the perpetrators of this act are often the female. We seldom hear about swollen penises from rape activities but we usually hear about torn vaginas, severely torn hymens, fear of sex and a pervasive fear of the males(opposite sex). When rape issues are talked about, the females are always on the good side of the coin. The odds are in their favor- from proactive measures to reactive measures. It is so clear that in a way the Nigerian society lay a great deal of emphasis on female rape.
Males are also raped. They are also vulnerable to rape. They wallow in sorrowful solitude because it will be said ‘’YOU ARE A MAN’’. The words ‘’YOU ARE A MAN’’ has destroyed many life, stopped many from achieving their dreams and became a nightmare to many. As the Nigerian society SAYS NO to rape it should also ACT NO to rape. Nigerians should beam the light on the male side of rape, so as not to make one party feel neglected and like the usual prime suspects. Actually, no one deserves to be raped on account of sexuality.